uneasy

I can't seem to shake the uneasy feeling. I thought once I got a job and we found a house that I would feel calm, but I really don't. There are a few things still up in the air, plus this is all sooooooo very different from the life we had planned out when we started having kids.

I'm just going to come right out and say that I am still disappointed that Columbus did not work out. I was excited about our plans there and I liked the city. I am still having a hard time letting go of that picture of what I thought our life was going to be like. I'm pretty surprised that I feel that way, since we didn't have many friends there and I hated our apartment, but we had *just* gotten a glimmer of hope of things getting better when Mike got the bad news.

I am also nervous about my job. Yes, I'm teaching music, which is great! But, this will be very different from teaching elementary music at Seminole. I also very clearly remember what the first year at a new school is like. I am not looking forward to the adjustment period AT ALL.

The things up in the air are in relation to Mike's work. Right now, he is freelancing and can choose his hours. Works great for us, because he can choose for his hours to be 4p-12a and he can stay home with the kids while I work. However, it looks like there might *possibly* be a better opportunity for him.....but again, it is something new and different, and of course throws out our whole child care situation.

I'm just worried about what 2 new jobs, new child care, new house, new everything will do to our family, which has basically been under constant stress since we left Tampa 13 months ago. I'm also disappointed that I'm still not able to relax about any of this. I was hoping for some relief from the constant worry, but I guess we're still not there yet. Mike said last night that he didn't expect me to be able to relax until around Christmas. He thinks everything will have calmed down by that point and we'll be able to enjoy the holidays in our new house :) I hope he's right!!!

I also have NO CLUE how people who don't have their faith in God to lean on handle stuff like this. As far as major life events go, I think this is a fairly minor setback compared to what COULD go wrong. God has definitely taken care of Mike and I through all of it, and we have definitely learned to pray and have faith. I can't imagine not having that. I'd pretty much be a disaster all the time!