this might be a long one

Once again I have failed you and have been quiet for awhile. I'm sure I've probably lost a lot of readers. I hope to change that....we'll see.

Initially there really wasn't much to say. After the musical spring was pretty quiet. Mike started working at the newspaper over spring break, and we slipped into something that is closer to normal than we've known in a very long time. Mike's job started out as temporary, but that didn't bother me.....after all, his 'permanent' position at the Dispatch only lasted 9 months. Now we are hearing that this might be more long term, a very welcome change for our family. As the school year drew to a close (and I survived!), I felt like we could exhale for the first time in sooooooooo long. Reliable income. No house waiting to sell. No one looking for a job. First time in 2 years we could say that.

Then mid May arrived with a small question. A bit of wondering if we messed up a little bit. So very unlikely. I mean, VERY unlikely, but possible enough to make us go "hmmm."

I posed the question to my online mom friends, who have been there through some very lonely times when I didn't have any real-life friends near by. I knew they would tell me that I was being crazy.

But they didn't. "I think you need to get a test."

. Mike got home and the first thing he asked me was, "what did they say on the boards?" I told him. He left to go to CVS without saying anything.

You can probably imagine the way the next few minutes went down. Although we were slightly entertaining the idea of a third baby, we were pretty sure we were done with two. We were feeling very settled, content, and DONE. We left a slight window open for baby #3, maybe in a few years.

So seeing the 2 lines come up on the home pregnancy test was most definitely an "oh crap" moment. I seriously felt like I was having an out-of-body experience.

The timing is terrible. I'm not totally convinced I can raise three kids.

However. (And this is a big "however.") I was completely amazed by how quickly I was able to accept, get excited about, and totally fall in love with this surprise baby. It was seriously a matter of days. The reality that this is HAPPENING, whether I'm happy about it or not, whether I think I can afford it or not, whether I think I can HANDLE it or not hit me hard almost immediately. I figure there's no point in worrying about something that is GOING to happen. And something that is as amazing and wonderful as being blessed with another son or daughter.

Any worries I had at all flew out the window when I heard our 3rd child's heartbeat last week anyway.

So, there it is. Turns out I probably have quite a bit to write about over the next 28 weeks after all :) Naturally, we are hoping that this 3rd blessing is a daughter, but a houseful of boys would be awfully fun, too. Amazingly, I think we are both more excited this time than with the other two. Something about it being a surprise, when the other two were so very planned, just makes it more ...........fun.