one thing that bothered me....

My mind went to some interesting places during the minutes after we found out #3 was on the way. See, with my other two, I had already spent many weeks dreaming and planning for the coming months of pregnancy, how long I would take for maternity leave, how I would tell everyone, and generally imagining our lives with a baby in it.

I found this to be quite different when baby is not expected.

Of course, there were the first moments of "oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap" spinning through my mind. That turned into "oh crap, what am I going to do about a spring musical NOW???" I found that to be an odd first concern, but I guess it was because we were just getting things on the calendar for next year that week.

That was quickly followed by....."it's not fair." And it isn't. I have so so SO many friends who wait FOREVER for just one baby. Who go through hell and back and are still left waiting and trying. Who suffer losses and heartbreak that I cannot begin to relate to. And especially at a time when it seems like there are big bellies and new babies EVERYWHERE, I know the last thing they want to hear from me is that we are about to have yet ANOTHER ONE. I know every announcement has to sting for them, and it kills me. I absolutely dreaded announcing this pregnancy for that reason alone, and waited longer with this baby than I did with either of my other two.

For some reason, that is where my mind went in the first 10 minutes....lots of tears in those first minutes, and I think this probably had a lot to do with it.

And for those of you who know me well, it didn't take long for my mind to wander to the other stuff. Before the night was over, we were discussing names, room arrangements, how long to take for maternity leave, possible dates for the c section, how long Mike should take off work, who will keep the boys while we're in the hospital, etc etc etc. Yes, I tend to get way ahead of myself, ha.