I'll admit that I haven't read that first parenting book. Well, ok, I did read "What to Expect When You're Expecting" at the airport the day I found out I was pregnant with Daniel. However, that book was enough to tell me that someone who doesn't know YOU or YOUR baby cannot possibly tell you whether or not you should start cereal at 4m or wait until 6. Or in our case, skip cereal altogether and go straight to fruit. (Oh the horror!)
That's why I loved Dr. P, our pediatrician in Tampa. He didn't tell me how to be a mom. He didn't tell me how to do anything unless I specifically asked him. Just told us we had a healthy little guy and answered any questions I had. I am seriously dreading Patrick's 12m visit to our doc here in town because I know she'll try to tell me something is wrong with Patrick if he isn't saying mama, dada, and one other word by his 1st birthday. (Guess what - he probably won't be.)
I'm a firm believer that the people who actually LIVE with the baby are the best ones to make the decisions, and that sometimes, the "right" answers aren't the ones that are particularly popular. My own parenting is a mix of so many different ideas that are out there - some are "crunchy," like the breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering that I love, and some are not, like being (extremely) pro-vax and a big believer in cry-it-out at the appropriate time. Do I think people who make other decisions are making bad ones? Um, no. I don't live with that baby and therefore have no right to judge or really, to have an opinion at all about it.
I believe in making informed choices and ultimately, doing what YOU know is right for the baby, regardless of what any book, other parent, or doctor has to say about it. Case in point: this blog. I cried. http://fiercemamas.blogspot.com/2009/10/saving-my-baby.html
4 comments:
Okay- thanks for the cry fest! I don't know if you are looking to switch pedis, but mine is VERY laid back, and his only comment is usually that she looks great and keep it up. He's not focused on milestones (unless obviously there's a big concern). Since you are pro-vaxing, he'll love you. :) Let me know if you want his name!
Erin
Hey, I warned you!!! :)
If you wouldn't mind sending me the name of your pedi, I'd appreciate it. I'm not sure that we're switching, but she does bug me, and if the next appointment goes the way I think it will, we might go ahead.
Kara,
I agree with this blog so much...i chose to listen to moms i knew instead of books i read. Luckily my pediatrician was wonderful when michael wasn't talking by age one or even age two. He told me younger children take longer to talk...its just how it is, but he referred us to First Steps of Indiana that allowed a speech therapist to come to our house once a week after michael turned two and was only saying three or four words. He never talked down to us, never questioned what we were doing, just outstanding support. Michael was talking so much six months later we were able to stop speech therapy..he just needed that little push and now his talking is nonstop! (I keep telling myself there are some days i wish we didn't teach him more than those three or four words) lol!
Thanks for this post - I'm still learning to trust myself as a mom. If one more person tells me to let Brenden cry it out I'm going to scream. He's been waking up more than usual the past couple of weeks, and we finally discovered that it's because he's teething. Nothing serious, but I'm so glad we didn't leave him to cry in pain in his crib.
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